


viimeinen jyvä (the final straw)

by themountainkingsreturn



Category: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angst, Gen, Self-Discovery, Sociopathy, silver haired men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themountainkingsreturn/pseuds/themountainkingsreturn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are born raw and naked and still smoking slightly at the edges, and their first instinct is to kill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	viimeinen jyvä (the final straw)

They are born raw and naked and still smoking slightly at the edges, and their first instinct is to kill. It's a beautiful thing, really. Every other creature on this disaster they call a planet is born with the instinct to survive, to clutch at life with balled, white-knuckled fists and to take and take and take until they are physically incapable of taking anything more.

 But they are born without that instinct. They are born amidst a sulfurous plume of smoke and heady bloodlust (and a horrible, burning _ache_ of something Kadaj says is love — but it makes him feel sick), and before they walk, before they crawl, before they even learn to speak, they reach for guns and swords and attack.

Yazoo prefers to think of it as a cleansing. It's selflessness, really. Just getting rid of the filth unworthy to walk this earth.

 The gun was made for him, he knows. It fits perfectly in his hand in a way nothing else ever could. _She_ made it for him, made it _of_ him. They are one and the same and all reaching towards the same indefinite purpose.

Kadaj is an idiot. He makes a show of questioning the two they capture, even lashing out and kicking the woman in the ribs when she won't speak. But he lacks subtlety. He lacks an appreciation for the geometric bruises that appear on neck, arms, face. He doesn't enjoy the work. Not like Yazoo does. He's not the one (literally) twisting arms with a gentle, calm smile as they scream and scream and _oh what a lovely sound._ It was his idea in the first place.

Loz gets a look at women the first time they venture into the city, and then he tells Yazoo he looks like a girl.

"Then I bet you'd take me right here on the bike," Yazoo says cooly and Loz doesn't know what he means, so he just looks straight ahead and swerves around a pothole.

Kadaj doesn't even hear them. He's thinking again, and he looks like he's about to cry. 

Yazoo knows other things his brothers don't, like how to refill the tanks of their motorcycles.

"Why doesn't it just keep going?" Kadaj whines the first time they have to fill up. Yazoo gives him a withering look.

"Do you even want to know, or are you just going to complain about that too?"

Kadaj wrinkles his nose and stabs an earthworm with one prong of his sword. Loz starts to cry.

Yazoo has motor oil on his hands. It smells awful, but then again, everything here does.

But he's beginning to understand, and with understanding comes an unidentifiable, subsuming rage. He grips a child's arm too tightly as he loads them into the truck. She yelps and tries to pull away. He shoves the brat in with a snarl and slams the door of the truck so hard that it dents and the handle comes away in his hand. He drives too fast. He thinks one of them might have fallen off the back. He doesn't care. 

He's beginning to understand why he knows strange, practical things and has a way of charming the parents of children he takes away, and why Loz knows a few scattered bars of a lullaby and the best place to punch someone in order to knock them out, and Kadaj…Kadaj knows how to command an audience and yell until he's hoarse and still have a glint in his eye afterwards. But Kadaj is utterly self-absorbed — it's not about presentation, it's only about what he thinks and feels, and damned if they go along with it and damned if they don't. It's just luck that he can get the children to follow his lead, because he doesn't really care what they see. Where Yazoo resists and Loz unwittingly surrenders, Kadaj dives wholebodily into the pit of his adoration, his obsession. Yazoo can't decide whether he envies him or despises him for it.

When they're a day old, Yazoo mutters something sarcastic while they plan their next move (he can't even remember what it was now), and Kadaj flattens him against a tree, one hand pressed against his windpipe and the other drawing his sword. Yazoo can feel spittle hit his face as Kadaj screams. When he's finally released, he wipes his mouth and returns sullenly to Loz's side. Loz is crying again.

When he finally understands, it's too late. Kadaj is gone and _he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know like I did._

And they go together.


End file.
